Lord knows, I have tried. I have my own clubs (purchased after a combination of private lessons and a dose of beginner's luck falsely led me to believe I had a natural gift). I have more than a passable understanding of course etiquette. Occasionally I still go out there (on an "Executive Course" - a fancy title for an easy Par 3 course meant to make bad golfers feel less emasculated) and try to act breezy. Like I'm having fun in my cute outfit. But I'm not. I'm just not good at this game, and it's hard not to look silly when you're shanking a swing. Being a (recovering) perfectionist, I find that too frustrating to be an acceptable way to spend 6 hours of a perfectly good Saturday.
So when I heard this story, it made me question: what is my excuse, exactly?
The AP is reporting that yesterday in Leighton, PA a TOTALLY BLIND woman hit a hole in one on a 144-yard, par-3 fourth hole at the Mahoning Valley Country Club. She plays regularly with her husband, who acts as a guide. She had to clear a water hazard and avoid sand traps to reach the green. Sheila Drummond reports her husband and the other players in her foursome told her it was a great shot, and then she heard it hit the pin.Can you imagine how that sounded?
My brother once hit a hole in one during a tournament while playing for our high school's varsity team. Hearing the story gave me such a vicarious thrill - and he's not even blind! Brendan didn't realize it had gone in, although he knew it was a good shot off the tee. As he approached the pin and he didn't see his ball, he thought his aim must have not been that good after all. He began searching the rough beyond the green with growing frustration as he contemplated the fact that not only was it not a good shot, he may even have to take a penalty if the wayward object didn't reveal itself soon. With spontaneous insight, one of his teammates said, "Brendan, why don't you look in the hole?" He later told us that had never occurred to him because he just isn't that lucky (his wife begs to differ).
The PGA won't recognize a hole in one unless it's part of a full round of 18 holes. With a start time delayed until after classes are done for the day, high school varsity matches typically only consist of 9. So my brother, his coach and one of his friends from the team played the back nine in the dark. Worth every one of the 63 strokes!
Read Herbert Warren Wind's New Yorker stories about golf, buy yourself Harvey Penick's book, and you'll find it's a lovely game... I'm off tomorrow with 22 year-old grandson to play Yale. He can hit any object with any implement and win... hockey, tennis, golf... I on the other hand play once or twice a year. I'll think of your Dad tomorrow, and mine as well, the one who wouldn't play with girls. Including the CT women's champion. It's a funny old game. We'll play one day and you can be like an old friend who hit a hole in one after 3 months of beginner golf. She unwittingly mentioned at a cocktail party that she'd hit a hole in one after just a few months of playing, and "how many have you had?" she asked. The silence was deafening.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there is my Australian friend who, on her first lesson, hit a birdie. Literally, on the driving range, dead-cocked a bird. She gave the game up for dead. I hear she had now had the courage to resume, after 15 years.
ReplyDeleteThose stories are just too much! I think golf lends itself to tales better than almost any other sport. I'm convinced that's why people become passionate about it.
ReplyDeleteI will definitely check out your recommended reads. And I hope you had a great round on Friday!