Who's your daddy?

As most suspected, Dannielynn's double helix has a lot more in common with Larry Birkhead's than it does with any other man who has applied for the daddy job.

Tori Spelling's mom, font of maternal concern that she is, shared advice on the important things in life in a letter to Larry this past week (see TMZ report below). I think Mamma Lynne Spears and Mamma Candy Spelling could be BFF.

Here's the advice I would give to Larry:

1. Try to care more about Dannielynn's welfare than you do about someone taking a picture of you on a bad hair day.
2. Make this little girl's life as normal as you can - consider moving to Iowa. (Side note: Zach Johnson seems to credit being from Iowa for his normalcy.)
   
3. Raise her to have respect for herself.
4. Do whatever you have to so she doesn't end up surrounded by people who sit around and do nothing while she self-destructs.

On number one above, while I do believe you should care more about Dannielynn than your hair, for God's sake - fix your hair. Do you think we don't know you bleach? Candy may not be maternal, but she's right about that.

Posted Apr 9th 2007 2:08PM by TMZ Staff
Filed under: Baby Watch, Life Style, Anna Nicole Smith, Tori Spelling

With the DNA results in the Anna Nicole Smith paternity case set to be revealed tomorrow, Candy Spelling, one of Hollywood's most noTORIous mothers, has come exclusively to TMZ to offer Larry Birkhead advice on everything from handling fame, to mitigating exorbitant lawyer fees -- even personal grooming!

Check out Candy's letter.



Dear Larry:

As the court appearance that will change your life approaches, I am stepping into my role as a celebrity-by-association to share some experiences with you.

1) The hair, Larry: Most of the time, your hair looks great, and I'm sure you spend a lot of time getting it right. Just be warned that you might look good every day for a month. But the one day you leave in a hurry and don't pay enough attention, or you get a little wild with an untested new style -- photos will be taken that will haunt you forever.

2) Fans/autograph seekers: Hollywood lives in fear of being yesterday's celebrity and ending up with an autograph languishing on eBay for days with no bids. If people want many copies, if they don't want you to personalize it, and/or they ask for Anna Nicole's name as part of your signature, nicely decline. If you slip and do see your autograph on sale, have a good friend bid more than 99 cents to buy it.

3) The lawyers: You've already found out that you have turned from man to cash machine. Lawyers aren't the only ones who will see you that way, especially if you are Dannielynn's biological father. The good news is that someone who presents you with a bill for $620,492.84 must think you have a good case. The bad news is that you will need more lawyers to fight the legal bills. My advice: Negotiate in advance, and put in a clause against expenses for lawyers, spouses, meals or laundry.

I wish you success in court on Tuesday, but beware: There's never enough preparation for "celebrity." I'll never get used to tour buses and cameras outside my house every day, reporters analyzing my grocery choices, and bloggers pretending to know more about my family than I do; but I do have a good life. Yours can be, too. Just remember that celebrity and/or money mean that nothing will ever be the same -- and act accordingly.

All the best,

Candy Spelling

Price Slashed on Brit/Fed-Ex Mansion

Apparently Britney and Fed-Ex are so anxious to get the divorce settlement done and over with, they have cut the price on the mansion by a million dollars (they will be splitting the proceeds from the sale).

I found the listing on Coldwell Banker (using info found on TMZ). Not that revealing, but here it is:

http://www.coldwellbanker.com/servlet/PropertyListing?action=detail&ComColdwellbankerDataProperty_id=11074557&page=property





By the way, apparently Britney has found new love. She has sparked up another romance while in rehab – this time with musician Howie Day.

The newly detoxed Spears met Day while at Promises, and according to Life & Style (via MSNBC), "fell hard" for the troubled singer-songwriter while in the facility, so hard that she's bringing him to a family wedding in June. Britney "just lights up" when she talks about Day and apparently thinks he's "the best kisser ever."

Still, Mama Lynne Spears isn't so stoked about Brit's new paramour because of his troubled past – he's been arrested -- once for locking a fan in his tour bus bathroom and another time for verbally abusing a flight crew while he was drunk.

He sounds PERFECT for Britney.

And where was Mama Lynne Spears last month when Britney was shaving her legs at the Mondrian pool? I think she should be worried about a lot of things in addition to whom her daughter is dating this week.