Happy summer solstice (and three month anniversary)

I took an extensive (and I'm sure my insurance company will soon find out, expensive) hearing test earlier in the week and found out that I'm half deaf. Go figure. The audiologist, God bless her cotton socks, was obviously upset that she had to confirm this news for me. It was so sweet. I'm sure she's used to delivery of such information being perceived as a devastating blow, but I assured her I had known for months. They told me in the OR and it's been confirmed with every experience since.

During the hearing test, I experienced the strange phenomenon that would eventually allow that "snap" device to work. Small tone-emitting tubes were inserted directly into my ear canal. While testing my right (deaf) ear, they had to pipe static noises into my left ear to "distract" it from hearing the tones on the side they were trying to measure. I guess I was either hearing the noise through the inside of my head, or the sound was making my bone vibrate so I could hear the reverberation. Next they put a device against the bone at the base of my head behind my deaf ear and deliberately tested my "bone resonance". When they vibrated that half-the-size-of-a-dime thing at different frequencies, I could hear varying tones in the (hearing) ear on the other side. Bizarre. No sign of XM Satellite in this initial test.

Once I get a little more into the swing of things, I will test out a trial version of the snap. I can wear a transmitter on a headband of sorts for a couple of days to experience what I would hear. If it seems worth it to me, then I could go for the more permanent version ala skull snap. My neurotologist would perform the surgery in the same hospital where I had my tumor removed - although the recovery is no big deal. It's not likely that I would even be admitted to the hospital, and I think I'd be back to a normal routine within days.

My doctor said that some neurosurgeons/neurotologists actually go ahead and insert the anchor for the snap thing during the initial tumor resection surgery. He doesn't like to do that for two reasons:
1. he doesn't believe it's ethical in a case like mine because I have to make an informed decision and consent to the surgery once I know I'm deaf. Why charge the insurance company for something I might not want?
2. the risk of brain infection is SO high (visual: my doctor wildly waving his arms for dramatic effect) in acoustic neuroma patients that he doesn't like to throw any additional complications into the mix. Ok, reason #2 gave me pause. I was certainly warned of the risks, but it was never underscored with such flair (or it's possible I was just denying the drama). Easier to hear it expressed that way when you're looking through the rear view mirror, I suppose.

My doc thinks I'm a great candidate for the snap and seems to be encouraging that route. For an older, perhaps retired individual it may not be worth it, he advised. But for a "high functioning person like you, it could make a big difference." He thinks I'm high functioning. He hasn't seen this blog.

Before my appointment I was (only slightly) worried because I've noticed a bit of a decline over the past three weeks or so. Doc Roland confirmed that's all normal as nerves regenerate (and cause pain) and as I am more active. I guess I was holding three months as some magic milestone that would abruptly bring the end of all balance and pain issues. Not so much. To alleviate frustration, I just think back to a month ago and remember that I really have made amazing progress.

I also saw a dermatologist this week to find out if there is anything he can do about a bald spot I now have gracing my hairline. It's barely noticeable, but it drives me crazy. It resulted from pressure wounds caused by too-tight post surgical head dressings (mmmm. cozy.). He said, well, I can give you a cortisone shot into your scalp and we'll see if that works. I thought, "Well, if your needle is smaller than a bone saw, I've had worse. Bring it on."

To make a long story short out of all these doc appointments, I have been cleared to go back to work tomorrow. I'm really happy to think of going back to my normal life. I'm sure I'll find it a little depressing at first as I notice all the ways it's not the same, but I will also be more grateful than ever for the small pleasures like Starbucks everywhere I turn and easy access to the bacon-turkey-cheddar melt at Cosi.

Onward...