Til debt do us part
It's no secret that living the American Dream is enabled by debt. I'm reminded every month when the mortgage is due. However, according to a recent CNN report, in 1 out of 3 couples, one spouse is hiding personal debt from the other. Am I incredibly naive? Does that seem high to you guys? I mean, not that I find it so hard to believe people hide things from their husbands or wives - but isn't this one simple math? We know how much money our significant others make, so don't we know if they can or can't afford the new Callaway clubs or Prada purses they're consistently sporting?
I manage the Voltz budget to the penny with a monstrous excel spreadsheet. I couldn't hide an ounce of debt if I wanted to. Of course, Terry may have reason to wonder. According to the report, one of the warning signs is things like shoes just start showing up in the house. My addiction to zappos.com has been widely documented (thanks, Laurie W).
On a related note, I used to work on a financial services business, and I did learn that a decent number of people hide debt from their financial advisers, which I think is hilarious. Like hiding chest pains from your cardiologist. I met a woman who's financial adviser helped her work out a plan to pay off all her credit card debt, which she did. But she also applied for another card which she never told him about and just racked up the spending on that one while she paid off the first. Meanwhile, she's paying a fairly significant fee for the advice she's ignoring. She was a smart person and knew what she was doing didn't make sense. People just don't always act rationally when it comes to money.
Want to know if your spouse (or client) is cheating on the finances? Here's the video report with the rest of the warning signs:
http://www.cnn.com/video/player/player.html?url=/video/business/2007/05/03/hunter.debt.secrets.cnn
By the way - I'm not casting judgment on wracking up debt. Things happen. I've been there. I just find it surprising that it would be so casual and easy to hide from someone who lives with you that one out of three of us is doing it. Am I a big Pollyanna?
2 comments:
Actually it's quite easy to do! One of my friends from high school found out that her husband had almost $50,000 of credit card debt that he'd hidden from her. He'd applied for cards in his name only, and would pay the minimums so they never got the phone calls. He was using the money on expensive lunches, LOTS of drinking (turns out he was an alcoholic) and gambling (taking cash advances on the cards).
Oh, Helen. That's awful. I was thinking about this after I wrote the post - it is easy if the money is going to intangibles like gambling. Also I suppose affairs could rack up hidden expenses.
I know if I were ever going to go into debt it would be on things that Terry would notice right away. Like an obscenely decadent wardrobe and some fabulous bling.
Anyway, I guess I hoped that situations like your friends' were more uncommon than not. That one in three number seemed so depressingly high.
jv
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