Daddy's little girls

This episode was not as amusing as I expected it would be. All the real wackos are gone, so there is less and less drama each time. I have no interest in watching a fairy tale romance unfold - I just want to make fun of the crazies. I fear the fun and games may have come to an end. Having said that, there were some fun moments to this mostly awkward episode.

Right off the bat, Andy lets us know where his head is at:

• Tessa is a wonderful girl, but hasn't put it on the line.
• Danielle is a wonderful girl, but maybe destined to be only a friend.
• Amber is a wonderful girl, but is only a kid.
• Bevin is a wonderful girl, but I don't know about her divorce yet.

Let's get to the bottom of these questions with some home-town fun.

Bevin handled the divorce reveal masterfully. Not only did she somehow glide right over the fact that it should have come up sooner, she actually used her speech to demonstrate her understanding of the importance of marriage while slamming Amber in the process, "I never thought it would happen to me. I never thought that I would be divorced. I thought it was forever when I made that commitment, but when you're young you just don't have perspective."

Still, Andy was not totally convinced. He sees a "red flag." Andy, wait until you meet Bevin's cry baby father. That talk Bev and her dad had on the couch was excruciating. I could not understand a word they were saying because they each had the dolphin-pitch thing going. I thought the glass on the pictures behind them would shatter. Dad's advice - you get in there and fight for him!

Danielle's father had more of the attitude I would expect from the dads. First of all, he called her "Princess" while he glared at Andy. He wasn't calling Danielle "Princess" as much as he was saying to Andy, "If you hurt my Princess with this crazy scheme you have going on, I will head-butt you with my four foot forehead. Navy elite, my ass." Then sister Kaitlin mentions the elephant in the room, "The fact that Andy is dating three other girls right now is probably the one thing that is making me nervous." She says this as though it's insightful or surprising. Yea, Kaitlin - this is not normal! But God bless that drum-playing-belly-dancing mariner, he won over Sis and Daddy in the end. Even got hugs from both. That Lt. Andy Baldwin charm is indomitable.

Then we see Tessa waiting for Andy on the lawn between the Capital and "that Monument". She informs Andy that while she was waiting, she made a snowball for him. I'm sorry - that seems manic. The thing was huge. I can't believe homeland security didn't send someone out to check out the crazy lady furiously making a snowball all by herself on the lawn.

Tessa's mom wins for creepy quote of the night when she friskily blurts out, "When I first saw him I thought, 'Wow, he is really fit. And he's very, very handsome." Mom gets the plumb seat next to Andy at dinner and hangs on every word the Lieutenant utters. It was all very Jane Seymour circa Wedding Crashers. More red flags for Andy when Tessa's dad indicates she may only be in this for the fun. Doh! Andy, like, closes the deal and, like, forces Tessa to, like, admit that she like, really wants to like, fall in love with him.

Off to Amber's classroom where Andy makes sure the kids know he's in the Navy. Wasted opportunity, he neglected to tell them he's a doctor - that's the other fact he likes to make sure people know. (Side note: there has been a huge scandal in Sugar Land, Texas over Amber taking time off to do the show. Apparently the Principal of the school was not forthright about why she was taking the time, and the parents were none too happy. The Principal was transferred to another school in disgrace. Another heart broken by Lt. Andy Baldwin. Here's the story: http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=local&id=5283072)

The minute I saw Andy holding that dog, I knew it was over for Amber.

Bevin's rose ceremony Cher-dress needed a Bob Mackie headdress.

I'm dying to know what he whispered to Danielle!? Could anyone make that out? It sounded like, "It's all good." Please tell me that's not what he said.

I'm hoping Hawaii will offer more drama. Does Andy's family never get to meet the girls?