Bonus Bachelor Edition

Guess who was a guest on Ellen today. That's right - Lt. Andy Baldwin. OMG. Special quality time.

Ok, first he gave a rose to Ellen. Nice touch.

Then he gave a few canned lines that had been written by the publicist for The Bachelor in response to the questions that same publicist told Ellen to ask (remember, this is all over. Andy already knows whom he picked.)

Ellen: "Why find the love of your life in this way?"
Andy: "I believe in fate. When ABC called me it was at just the right time."
Ellen: "You all of a sudden get down to two that you have strong feelings for. Do you think about the other girl that you let go? What did I do? Maybe I made a mistake?"
Andy: "I do. That's the toughest part. But in the end I needed to look into my heart and really feel who I felt strongest for and who would be best for me in the future. And that was the most emotional day of my life. I'm not going to lie to you."

Blah, blah, blah. It's not as compelling when Andy's words are not dramatized with military music swells.

But then he let his guard down and it got interesting. Ellen asks him why he let Erin go. I mean after all, he took her for that drive and made such a point of telling her how much he liked her and wants to make sure she likes him too, and then he boots her. Yea, Ellen. I thought that was weird too! Well, Andy let Ellen's viewers in on what the cameras didn't catch Erin say:

"They didn't show the entire two hours of it. She was very shy in front of the cameras. I wanted to take her on a drive and engage her in conversation and see what she was doing here. I said, 'Erin, what's going on?' And she was like, (Andy mocks a girly-girl voice here) 'Well, I want to name our kids Walker and Texas Ranger.'"

And then something astonishing occurred. Before I even knew what was happening, Lieutenant Andy Baldwin demonstrated what seemed to be a genuine sense of humor with this quote from Talladega Nights:

"Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my red-hot smokin' wife (Andy is laughing so hard he can barely get the words out). But I luv ya, Erin!"

He didn't once say Erin is a wonderful person with a good heart. Andy can be snide and sarcastic! I am in this, dammit. That Andy Baldwin makes me want to be a better person. I think I hear snare drums...