Four week status report

The Wednesday status reports are getting boring. I apologize in advance. I can no longer spice them up by throwing around exciting sound bites like, "Good news, I'm out of the cerebro-spinal fluid leak danger zone!"

The milestones of recovery are becoming more mundane and more spread out. I am SO over my recovery. I can't even imagine how uninteresting this is to you. I forgive anyone who stops reading the status report postings in favor of Bachelor updates and gossip tid-bits.

Still reading?

Really?!

How 'bout now?

Come on! Seriously?

Ok. Well in that case...

I learned a few important things during week four. Allow me to share:

Week Four: Eight Key Learnings

Key Learning #1: Healing is not linear

Some of the things I thought were history have reared their ugly head again (not that there's anything wrong with ugly heads). Like why does my jaw hurt? I know they sawed through bone, muscle and nerve, but that pain went away for at least three days in a row during week three. I thought the statute of limitations was over? And why is the rice crispies noise inside my head getting louder after it had almost nearly subsided? And what about the voices that tell me it's time to turn on Dr. Phil?

Key Learning #2: Jazz is not always relaxing

Note to self: when going out to "quiet" neighborhood restaurants, call ahead to make sure it's not jazz night. Oh, and make sure that they don't have a special treat on that particular jazz night: opera singers performing their favorite show tunes. We planned a dinner out this past week - my first! We had planned to meet a good friend (and former neuro nurse) who helped me out enormously through this process. So we purposely selected a restaurant that I could easily walk to and that is very quiet. About an hour into our meal, we heard musical instruments being tuned just on the other side of a small wall dividing our table from the front room. We poked our head around to see what's going on. Sure enough. Live music. Three feet from me. Awesome. I spent the rest of the evening with my finger plugging my good ear while the rest of the diners enjoyed rousing renditions from such classics as South Pacific. That remains our only dinner out to date.

Key Learning #3: Zagat is omniscient

Zagat publishes an annual movie guide (Thanks, Daphne). Includes reviews of 1,600 movies in alphabetical order, and in traditional Zagat format, breaks down "Top Lists" by relevant categories: Favorite Films of All Time, Best New Releases, Overall Quality, By Genre, By Decade, By Director, By Lead Actor, Top Story, Top Production Values, Foreign Language. It's a great reference.

Key Learning #4: Broadway is noisy

I can walk 17 blocks. But I can't walk 17 blocks on Broadway. Many trucks. Many sirens. Now I know. (It took brain surgery to figure this out? I'm a New Yorker. I never noticed before.)

Key Learning #5: I still don't cook, but I am better than ever at obsessive cleaning

Oxi Clean works well on glass that you can't get inside of to clean. I have a dual chamber balsamic/olive oil dispenser with very small openings. No way can you get a sponge or even a bottle cleaning brush in there. I swished some Oxi Clean and a little water around inside, and it got off all the residue left behind by the dishwasher.

Key Learning #6: I'm a lucky, lucky, lucky girl

I have the best friends on the planet. This has been proven to me many times over the course of my life and especially over the past few months. I had one of the best examples yet during Week Four. My friend Lisa, whom I have been friends with since we were 12, was coming in from Long Island to see me this past Saturday. The minute I answered the door, I began crying. (So, sue me! I've been through a lot, she's a good friend, it was emotional.) So then she says to me: "I left the bagels in the hall." Ok. That's weird, but fine. Let's get the bagels. What do I see? There are ALL my girls. They had traveled in from all over the country to see me.

Here's a funny picture. When I discovered I was the target of the best surprise visit ever I said, "I'm floored," just as I very nearly was. I lost my balance with almost perfect comedic timing.

Here's the whole gang

Key Learning #7: Google is scary

I have known these girls for over 20 (something!) years. No matter how much we've been through, the minute we're all together, it's like we're right back in high school. So of course we spent the visit eating and gossiping. What better tool to fuel the gossip session than Google? We got out the year book and began Googling (this word is spell checkable now) random folks from high school. You'd be surprised what we were able to find out. Can't wait for our 2009 reunion where I plan to surprise a certain now resident of North Carolina with my knowledge of what he paid for his home. I barely spoke to him in high school, and he hasn't entered my conscious thought in decades, but I now know he has a terrace AND a deck.

Key Learning #8: Re-read hospital discharge papers at regular intervals

I read the instructions in the hospital (Right after blowing my nose. One of the instructions is "Don't blow your nose.") I read them again when I got home. Haven't read them again since. But I read them tonight and realized that I have violated several key directives. Most notably, I was supposed to make an appointment to see my neurosurgeon again during week three. Notice this is a "Week Four" learning. Ooops. (Could they have called!? I paid a lot of money for that operation. I'm just saying.)