Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Weekly Absurd-o-Meter

Of course I knew Nadia taking over CTU would have to make the Absurd-o-Meter. As soon as that happened I said, "Oh come on. As though a 23 year old is qualified to run CTU." Terence rightfully pointed out that in terms of hotness she is over qualified. Good point. Get going, Buchanan.

Enjoy this week's installment from New York Magazine.

The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: It's a Scheming Bureaucrat's Prerogative to Change His Mind

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In Daily Intel's 24 Absurd-o-Meter, we each week count down the most incredibly ridiculous (ridiculously incredible?) plot points in the last hour of Jack Bauer's crappy day. Two weeks ago, the season's plot pivoted, with Jack finally catching and killing Fayed and then, moments later, receiving a conveniently timed phone call from Chinese nemesis Cheng, who revealed he's holding Audrey Raines. In last night's episode, the characters pivot along with the plot, conveniently forgetting everything they believed in and fought for just a few hours earlier.

4. Lennox will do everything possible to get rid of Karen, or else he'll do whatever he can to keep her around. Just this morning, back before Tom Lennox was held prisoner by his chief of staff, before he planted a secret recording device to entrap Vice-President Daniels, before President Palmer was gravely injured then miraculously recovered then was gravely injured again, Karen Hayes was the only person who stood between Lennox and his plans of Muslim-American incarceration. So he plotted to force Karen to resign, which she'd gladly do to protect her beloved husband, Bill Buchanan. A few hours later, the secret information that will bring down either Bill or Karen — which, we're now told, doesn't actually reveal that either one did anything wrong — resurfaces, and there are no questions. Tom will work with Karen to keep her around, and Karen's happy to cut Bill loose. Absurdity factor: 4

3. Power remains the greatest aphrodisiac. You thought Daniels was pulling all those power-grubbing machinations — invoking the 25th amendment, conspiring to perjure himself to the Supreme Court, presumably rubbing his hands with glee with Palmer collapsed in the press room — just so he could be president? Well, yes, before. Now he just wants to get his hands on that hot blonde aide. Once he's ensconced in the Oval Office, his first move is terminating Jack's plot to get Audrey. Is his second move focused on terrorism? Or reassuring the nation? Or preserving his own power, even? Nope. It's fondling Amelia. "I'm not sure this is appropriate behavior, Mr. Acting President," she coos. "Well, there's the phone," he replies. "Tell them the Acting President is a dirty old man." Indeed. Absurdity factor: 4

2. Nadia, she's the best! First thing in the morning, CTU HQ, against Bill's wishes, lowered Nadia Yassir's security clearance, because, even though she's a loyal CTUer, she's also an Arab. Nadia was pissed. A few hours later, Nadia was suspected of leaking information to Fayed; she was removed from duty, placed in custody, and tortured by Doyle. Turned out it was all a mistake, and she was returned to duty. Nadia was pissed. So when Bill's forced out of CTU, who's put in charge? Nadia, of course, who'd not mad at all about being shat on all day. "I don't know why they would fire you," she tells Bill. "You're the most ethical, dedicated person I've ever known." A line like that from an aide would get Vice-President Daniels in the sack. Absurdity factor: 5

1. Audrey is brainwashed?! Jack comes out of eighteen months in a Chinese prison — eighteen months in which he was brutally, repeatedly tortured and beaten — acting just like his old self. Audrey, however, leaves able to say just a few words. But what a key few words: "Help me, Jack! Don't let them to do this to me!" So how many hours are left for us to have to watch her repeating that? Absurdity factor: 8 —Jesse Oxfeld




PS to Kristin: I'm just sitting down to watch The Bachelor now.

10 comments:

Unknown said...

The thing I found most absurd was that Chang would not just have shot Jack to get the card?! Was Jack really in a position to negotiate when he is there alone, surrounded by the Chinese, and they have Audrey?? Shoot Jack, Shoot Audrey, take the card...Much easier?? Are we supposed to believe that Chang was being honorable all of a sudden??

And Karen turning on Bill was downright depressing! What the h*ll has Karen done to make her think that she is vital to the presidency.....

AND, did she REALLY have to fire Bill right THEN?!! She couldn't have waited a few hours?? A day? A week?? I don't remember the DOJ guy issuing any ultimatums to her??

Bill should dump her and hook up with Nadia.

Oh..and one more thing..I don't think that he is really keeping up his end of the bargain to confirm that the card has been destroyed by calling Bill to confirm with him that it WILL be destroyed?? Don't you need to confirm AFTER it has been destroyed?

Man I love this show!

JAV said...

Bill and Nadia are so hooking up.

TGV's favorite absurdity was Mr. Silver Spoon finding Jack's truck by the drop point after being given only a pathetically small lead. He said, "That's like being told 'Jack got off at exit 37 of the LIE' and then just coming across him parked behind a dumpster at a Bob's Big Boy 5 miles from the highway."

Unknown said...

Hah! Great stuff by TGV! I am telling you..they are setting up Silver Spoons to be the next Jack....Only someone nearly as good as Jack would have been able to do what he did...

If Bill and Nadia DO hook up, Milo might go on a murderous rampage. And why is Milo always around when Chloe and Morris our fighting?? Was he a hall monitor at some point?

By the way Joan, do you watch Lost?? Woul love some Lost recaps if you do (and you have the time?)...

TGV said...

I'm thinking about Nadia and Bill having a conjugal visit at Leavenworth after Bill is sent up the river for treason for letting Fayed slip through his hands.

I'm thinking about Nadia and Milo playing tonsil hockey in the conference room/torture chamber after her newfound power makes them both extremely frisky.

Mostly, though, I'm just thinking about Nadia.

JAV said...

Never got into Lost - but so many people love it, maybe I should start. I do know that Michelle Rodriguez was seen in Beverly hills yesterday shopping while waiting for a facial mask to dry. Sorry - that's weird.

Check out the pic:
http://www.tmz.com/2007/04/24/michelle-rodriguez-frighteningly-lost-in-beverly-hills/

JAV said...

oops - didn't copy the whole link. Here's the pic

http://www.tmz.com/2007/04/24/miche
lle-rodriguez-frighteningly-lost-in-beverly-hills/

Unknown said...

That WAS scary! I actually liked her on the show too.....

If you never have watched, rent season one on netflix...I didn't watch either at first, but now I am hooked...

And where is my House update!!!!

JAV said...

Eric -

Just watched House last night. It was such a bummer show - couldn't bring myself to do a write up. I don't recall them ever killing anyone before - do you? Right in the beginning, when she couldn't do the card trick, I thought - oh here we go again. Another brain episode. Can we pick another organ?

I am getting a kick out of the Cuddy Wilson thing.

Oh, and best line was the anagram for Gregory House: Huge ego, sorry.

eschaer said...

You're right...it was kind of depressing. They definiteley have not killed anybody before (some have died, but not b/c of anything they did)...

You mean the Cuddy-Wilson-House love triangle?? It is great to see House so jealous! But, not really such a great friend to Wilson. I loved the scene with Wilson's ex-wife...

JAV said...

I JUST remembered who she is! I don't know why I couldn't think of it last night - she was Niles' wife on Frasier before he hooked up with Daphne Moon. I guess she is loopholed into that "the wrong wife" typecast.

And yes, a jealous House is an entertaining House.